Short jokes
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
What's in a man's mouth when he realizes he's gay?
A dick.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.
I created a website for orphans, though it doesn't have a homepage.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"