Short jokes
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
"We've invented the spade!"
"Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
You should go soul searching. Maybe you'll find one.
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.