Short jokes
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
Why is Penaldo's favorite club Real Mallorca?
Because it reminds him of Kathryn Mallorca🥵
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
What’s a fun game to play during a pride parade?
Capture the flag.