Short jokes

Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?

To get them into his van.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?

Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎

How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.

My humour is so dark that its life matters.

What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?

A private tutor/tooter.

Why did the octopus cross the road?

'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.

Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?

Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?

In Greece.

My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents

What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?

Downy.

What do you call a pen with no head?

DeCAPitated.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?

Robot Wars.

Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.

What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.

What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."

Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?

Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?

Impossible!

A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.

She told her, "Hey, long time no see."

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.