Short jokes
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
What does NASA stand for?
Not A Space Agency.
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.