Short jokes
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
Freddy, Bonnie, Cheka, Foxy, and Balloon Boy FNAF.
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
A limbo champion walks into a bar.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.