Short jokes
I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
Uhhhh ohhhhhhh yea (moan).
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
Roses are red, you are gay, and that's it.
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.