Short jokes

Why are people from New York so bad at chess?

Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).

What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet

What do you call it when school starts in Africa?

Black to school.

What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.

What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?

Helen Killer.

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?

She unlocks the handcuffs.

Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.

I’m in catholic school.

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy.

People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...

Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

COVID-19 is like pasta.

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.

That’s about to become a rope around my neck.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.

I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.

All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."

I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.