Short jokes
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.