Short jokes
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
What do you call five Black people having sex?
Threesome.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.