Short jokes
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
Did you?
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.