Short jokes
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
"We've invented the spade!"
"Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
gdqvgj
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.