Short jokes
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.