Short jokes
So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
What time is your name from? Any time.
F*ck me!
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar.
When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
Yo mama so fat, when she ran... oh wait never mind.
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.