Short jokes
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!