Short jokes

What were Paul Walker's last words?

I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.

Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.

Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?

There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.

I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.

Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!

What’s the most emo country in the world?

Qatar.

What is a Russian joke?

Something that will be funny for Russian people.

Did you know Michael J. Fox’s favorite song is "Shake, Rattle and Roll"?

What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?

"Period, oh period, oww!"

What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.

My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.

Why was the orphan so good at baseball?

Because his coach said, "Go long or go home."

I hate autistic people.

When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.

You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.

My life.

There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"

Hi Bradyeeeeeeee!

I make many jokes about jobless people, but none of them are working.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.