Short jokes
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. A castle weighs a ton. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The Queen of England's won! I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.