Short jokes
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Your name is baller cuz ur in my mom's baller.
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.
Normal people: I'm my own nationality.
Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.
Nobody got it.
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
Why is the divorce rate among socks so high?
My tower is hard, but after six minutes, it fell over.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
Which room is the safest place in the house?
The living room.
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.
Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?
Mother: Sure.
Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!