Short jokes
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
What is a sheep's favorite soccer player? Paul Pogbaaa.
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
Dee.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
What are Africans' favorite game to play? Hungry hippos.
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.