Short jokes
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.