Short jokes
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
I have a body count of 7.
Friend 1: *turns off lights*
Friend 2: *is there with us*
Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
My dick is longer than your life.
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
What's a kidnapper's favorite White Vans?
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?
Cancer!
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.
Dump in a stump. Ahahahaha.
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.
Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?
He was snowed in.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!