Short jokes

What is Michael Jackson’s favorite song? “Little Drummer Boy.”

What is an orphan's favorite store?

Home Depot.

Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

What part do people slit the most?

Everyone.

What’s the difference between a priest and target?

Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.

Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.

Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

All of the people disliking this category are probably emo.

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?

Spaghett-hehe.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.

I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.

When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔

What do you call a mouse with sneakers?

Squeakers!

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.