Short jokes
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.
Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
Is Uranus big? Well... your anus is...
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.
I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
Why did you scream? Oh... Helen Keller tried to cook... 😨
What's the opposite of Jason?
Jasister.
Who's a rapper that likes to walk around naked?
Nudacris.
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
The "f" in orphan stands for family.
Except there is no "f."
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.