Short jokes
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
Cameron and Pav.
Add me on Snapchat for streaks: Loganlytton.
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
How you guys not even know who did it? Hahahahaha.
You think your friends get butthurt?
That's gay guys.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
Q: Wanna see something funny?
A: Sure.
*bomb Florida*
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house? A spicket fence!