Short jokes
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."
Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can enjoy them as well.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
What's a kidnapper's favorite White Vans?
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
"Peppa's ribs."
What happened after George Floyd went to the drugstore to buy Zicam Extreme Congestion Relief?
George Floyd was able to breathe again.
What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?
I AM keeping Trak!
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Why is Chloe's forehead so big? Because her forehead is king-size.
What do you call hot cups?
Sunglasses.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.
She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!