Short jokes
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
Wat?
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
What to say to a single guy who's insulting you: "Shut up, you horny virgin!"
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.
dfg.
Fam, you weaker than a polar bear!
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.