Short jokes
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,
"Some asshole has my pen!"
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Condensed.
Condensed who?
Condensed milk.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
Speed.
What is tyyyyyyyyu?
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?
What do you call a mug? A mug dummy.
George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air.
Why does Mini P.E.K.K.A. love pancakes? Because he is busy watching explicit content involving the Archers and Firecracker.
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"