Short jokes
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What soda do mountains drink? Mountain Dew.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.
If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.
Big black ball sacks.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."