Short jokes
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
Genie: You can only have 3 wishes.
Man: I wish for more wishes.
Genie: You can’t wish for more wishes.
Man: I wish I could.
Genie: ......
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.
I found your parent!
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What constellation has no hair at all?
Cancer.
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.