A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces and a dentist comes in and he's says Brace yourself!
Me: John what did he do earlier
John: hold on, I’m trying to think
Me: I thought I smelled poop
Bosses are like seagulls. They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
I asked my friend what their serial number was....he said Cheerios
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure
Animal jokes, Eh?
Toucan play at that game.
my friend " ya mama so stupid she sits on the tv and watches the couch" me " THAT JOKES OLDER THAN YOUR MOM "
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
I love ❤️ taking my daughter out in the car 🚙 every time we go over a speed bump I tell her we ran over another dog 🐕😂
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
I say 1 2 3 all the kids bullied me but now they're not so cool cuz I shot up the school
What did the cancer cell say to it’s neighbor?
Mind if I join you?
Why Did Sarah Fall Off A Skyscraper?
Because She Made Her Dad Mad.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
what do you call a gay scientist? stephen hawqueen.
What is Steven hawking's least favorite movie? Standing tall
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
What did the panther say at the poker party? I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
what do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming..........a blood bath...bud um pst
