Short jokes
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
My uncle got sued from NASA the other day. He claimed to be the first one to enter Uranus.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Have you seen the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
Sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
Bring 'em young.
My mom got a clown for my birthday, but it ended up being my sister. 🤡
What kind of sex do priests love?.
Nun.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."