Short jokes
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
How do you be friends with a musician?
B minor.
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
Why did the cow smell?
'Cause the horse gave it a pat on the back.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
You want to know how to spot a foster kid?
Them carrying their whole life in a Hefty trash bag.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."
Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
What did Rengoku say to his class?
"Set your school ablaze!"
Y'know what rhymes with clash, zoom, dang?
Slash, boom, bang, snap.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.