Short jokes
John Toberty is not funny.
Why did the wheels not move on his wheelchair?
Because he had no legs.
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
JAJAJA
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.