Short jokes
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
Robert Scott is a NumNut.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!
Why can't orphans go to a five-star hotel?
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
I gave Caillou bleach, now he is paler than ever. >:)
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colors.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!