Short jokes

I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.

What do you call a nosy Mexican?

That's nacho business.

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

What do birds and children have in common?

If you shoot them, they die.

What is a snake’s favourite subject?

Hiss-tory!

A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:

"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."

Hey Max, what's up? The sky.

What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?

Shout out to johnny4488 for commenting on my last post!

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.

What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

Best chick ever.

Call me at 6969696969.

I'm pretty sure that "MOI MOI" means "ME! ME!" does it?

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

I am curious how many likes this will get.

LIKE IT!!!!!

What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!

Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.