Short jokes
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
I have two eyes and am afraid of sex.
A Fortnite player.
What did Little Johnny say to his dad?
Johnny: "Dad, please not again! I'm too young!"
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
"Just killed a woman, feeling good."
- Tommyinnit
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
Best way of abortion?
Beyblade abortion.
LET IT R.I.P.
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.
Bird Box.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!