Short jokes

What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?

A-doll Hitler!

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.

Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.

Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?

So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.

Emos are dark people....

...So why are they all white?

Goths are even darker...

SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.

I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.

I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.

Roses are red, you are gay, and that's it.

I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.

Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.

Q. What makes music on your hair?

A. A headband!

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.