Short jokes
What screams I’m insecure?
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
I wish my name was Voyager 2...
So I could have the first encounter with Uranus. :)
Peter's playtime.
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.
You really put the R in special.
Mpreg is hot af.
I love jacking off to mpreg.
People with bipolar...............k2iojvjaiohoaehfbsjhfpoqwurp.
org.springframework.beans.factory.BeanCreationException: Error creating a bean with name X.
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
What is a woman?
A walking vagina who nags.
You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?