Short jokes
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
Gwen?!?!??!/1??!?!??!
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World?
To free Willie.
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
What is an orphan's role model?
Batman.
Uranus is sideways and leaking methane.
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
My grandfather loves Hitler. They both had one ball.
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.