Short jokes
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa