Short jokes
I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
Things we all do:
Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣
I do this too often!
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
Why are french fries rude?
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.