Short jokes
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla