Short jokes
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Orphans smell like Grandma cunt.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
What is Sophia’s favourite song?
"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.
What do you call AG?
A beta male.
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
Penis, peepee, poopoo!
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.