Short jokes
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.