Short jokes
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
ssundee: "If this video gets to 100k likes, I'll post part 2."
SSUNDEE WIFE: "SHUT THE #### UP!"
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.