Short jokes

Are you George Floyd?

'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

All of the people disliking this category are probably emo.

Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

What part do people slit the most?

Everyone.

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

What’s the difference between a priest and target?

Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.

What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?

A-doll Hitler!

What do you call a mouse with sneakers?

Squeakers!

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.

So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.

What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.

When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."

A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!

What is Michael Jackson’s favorite song? “Little Drummer Boy.”