Short jokes
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
Fun fact: The body positivity movement is the only movement without any actual movement.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!