Short jokes
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.
It says, "271032."
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.