Short jokes
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
What is Michael Jackson’s favorite song? “Little Drummer Boy.”
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.