Short jokes
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.