Short jokes
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises.
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!