Short jokes
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?
What’s a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.