Short jokes

Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.

The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."

Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.

Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.

Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.

What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?

Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.

Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?

Jack in a box.

Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?

What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.

Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.

A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".

What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.

I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.