Short jokes

Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂

Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.

Credits: to my friend.

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.

I gave Caillou bleach, now he is paler than ever. >:)

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______

What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?

The letter b.

Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.

What do you call a ghost bee?

Boobees.

In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.

If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?

I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.

The worst joke ever.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.

Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!

Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?

He wanted to mash potatoes!

What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?

Nothing, the pee is silent.

People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.

Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅