Short jokes
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!
What did the penis say to the condom?
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Hi. I am Joe.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.
Spell Mississippi.
M-I-S-S-I-P-P~
Haha you said pp.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.