Short jokes
Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
Fun fact: The body positivity movement is the only movement without any actual movement.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.