Short jokes
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
Lettuce ketchup.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
Hi 👋 I have some good idea 💡. What was the best game I’ve [played]?
Wade likes Luiz!
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Why don't orphans watch TV?
Because of "Family Guy."
Here’s my pun.
Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.