Short jokes
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.