Short jokes
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
Cleveland Browns
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.