Short jokes
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?
What’s a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.