Short jokes
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.