Short jokes
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now
Only in Ohio.
I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.
Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.