Short jokes
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
I am a volcano.
Spell Mississippi.
M-I-S-S-I-P-P~
Haha you said pp.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
I think one of my dads might be gay.
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.