What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
Short Jokes
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
Happy new year! 🥳
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
