Short jokes
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Trump, must I say more?
I'm a rapist.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.