Short jokes
Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.