Short jokes
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?
He became spotless!!!
You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.