Short jokes

All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)

Me- *crying in the shower*

Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*

Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."

What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

You respond: "cancer."

Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.

I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.

if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."

If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!

You gotta believe me!

If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.

I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.

What's an orphan's least favorite store?

Family Dollar.

This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?