Short jokes
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
Yo mama's so stupid, she had a staring contest with a mirror.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.
I'm bald.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.