Short jokes
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
Q: What's black, white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra? No, Michael Jackson after a Pepsi advert.
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
when is rape wrong on so many levels?
inside a lift.
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is dead, I'm such a fool. -Juice Wrld
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.