Short jokes
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
Iron Man dies.
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
Yo forehead so big it makes Megamind's forehead small.
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.
That is just plain wrong.
What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
I saw you when I got chance at the adoption center!
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator.
Cut.