Short jokes
What if your Corona test is neutral?
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.