Short jokes
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.