Short jokes

I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.

I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.

Who did the cow want to hang with?

The udders.

Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?

A: Make sure to come upstairs!

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.

I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!

What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?

Father-in-law.

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?

Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.

What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?

Black ops.

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"

I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!