Short jokes
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.