Short jokes
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?
Because he couldn't breathe.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.