Short jokes
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.