What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
Short Jokes
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Roses are red,
I don't know what is brass.
I tell myself,
"Don't touch grass."
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
Why doesnβt Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he canβt sniff their hair.
My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
