Short jokes
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Why did the bee buzz off?
Because he had to bee somewhere.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂