Short jokes
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.