Short jokes

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.

What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"

How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.

How did I get to Iraq? I ran.

I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?

Ice, Ice Baby!!

I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.

what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?

people go there to fix their mistakes.

I love vegans because they save more meat for us.

What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?

The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.

Why did the clown fall off his bike?

Because the neighbor threw a washing machine at him.

Why can’t a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

Because their focus is way off.

What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.

Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.