Short jokes
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
I'm a rapist.
Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."
bradley
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
What did the angel say when it went to heaven? Well, halo there!
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.