Short jokes
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
What is the highest number?
420.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.