Short jokes
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.