Short jokes
I love the smell of my F5 key. It's very refreshing.
Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.
Me: Guess who came crawling right back?
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
What is the highest number?
420.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!