Short jokes
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Your hairline's so bent, it goes west, east, north, and south!
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."