Short jokes
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.
Me: Guess who came crawling right back?
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What is the highest number?
420.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!