Short jokes

Short jokes

Poison

Me: *gets down on one knee*

Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!

Me: *falls over*

Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.

Fortune

Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.

Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!

Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?

Criminal

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

Body

At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.

Butt

REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.

Dick

What did the dick say to the condom?

Cover me, I'm going in. šŸ˜ššŸ˜

Master bait

My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?

Visitor

My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.

Sun

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?

Because there is never anyone at the door.

Accident

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

Pasta

What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)

School Shooter

When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.