Short jokes
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer? A: Flanders Red Ale.
Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.