Short jokes
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
What’s Kobe Bryant’s favorite rapper? NLE Choppa.
What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.