I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
Short Jokes
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
What did Bonnie say to Chica?
"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
My fucking life, cya.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
