Short jokes

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

Pornhub suggesting me MILF on Mother's Day...

If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?

Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?

Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?

Rolling Loud 🎸🎸

Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)

Why don’t cheetahs get married?

They always cheat on each other.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.

What do you do when your cat's not home?

Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?

Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.

Call of Duty kill cam be like.

This is the best kill streak ever!

It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.