Short jokes
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
You're a joke!
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
What is your car's name?
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
I heard that the World Orphan Organization has a sponsor... DC Comics.