Short jokes

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.

what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?

people go there to fix their mistakes.

My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"

Friend #2: "Apples"

Me: "I can hang myself in them."

If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.

Segma says, "32!"

Ligma Says, "And?"

Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."

The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.

What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?

I would never put a canoe in my garage.

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.

I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.

What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?

A stroke of luck :)

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.