Short jokes
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
Peyk 47 said that Kobe Bryant is not a legend, but he is.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana? They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.
What's an orphan's least favorite theme song? The Barney theme song.
You will find Taylor Swift on the streets before you find your hairline.
Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.