Short jokes
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
What did Bonnie say to Chica?
"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.