Short jokes

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

I replaced "Jingle Bells" with "Jiggle Balls"... "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!"

What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.

I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.

The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.

Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?

It's pretty much a downward spiral.

What's the depressed person's favorite song?

Van Halen - Jump

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

how to solve world hunger and over population?

Cannibalism.

I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.

Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.

A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.

I just left him hanging.

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."

They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!

Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!