Short jokes
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.