Short jokes

Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!

how to solve world hunger and over population?

Cannibalism.

It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.

What do orphans be on Halloween?

They be themselves.

What do you call a rooster lollipop?

A cock sucker!

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.

What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?

They both smell like "Teen Spirit."

What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?

They wait to be filled with a big load.

Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?

It's pretty much a downward spiral.

What's the depressed person's favorite song?

Van Halen - Jump

Paul's favorite car.

A Carrera GT.

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

I replaced "Jingle Bells" with "Jiggle Balls"... "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!"

what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?

Panera dead.

What's the fastest thing on earth?

An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.