Short jokes
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.