Short jokes
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.