Short jokes

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.

Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...

Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.

Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

The shovel is a ground breaking invention.

*Slaps and laughs*

I'm starting a clown shoe store.

It's no small feat! :oD

What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

An outlaw is wanted.

If at first you don't succeed,

Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.

What bird doesn’t need a comb?

Bald eagles.

Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?

Early access.

What's the smartest crime?

3rd degree murder.

My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.

Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"

At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.

What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?

Awwtistic.

Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.

Biden: *falls over on steps*

What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."

What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.