Short jokes
Now their owner is dying.
HAHAHAHA
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
Look, it's the dead center of town!
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!
I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.
What was the color of the wallpaper in the Twin Towers?
... plane.
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
drew here freshfry you are almost deadfry! I forgive you, just don't do it again. You know what I am talking about!
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
I always wear Puma, put my balls in your mouth.
What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?
Somewhere over the rainbow.