Short jokes
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
I used to have a fear of hurdles.
But I got over it.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
I love necrophilia, but only if it's consensual!
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.
Thanks.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.