Short jokes
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Woah, nice cock.
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!