Short jokes
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.