Short jokes
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."