Short jokes
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Woah, nice cock.
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.