Short jokes
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.
I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.
Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."