Short jokes
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
Balls in your jaws.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
I would roast you but you're already so hot.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.
Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.