Short jokes
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.
Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
Balls in your jaws.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
I would roast you but you're already so hot.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD