Short jokes
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.