Short jokes
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.