Short jokes
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.