Short jokes
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
I like Cheetos.
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.