Short jokes
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
What’s a 9/11 victim’s least favorite song?
Drowning Pool - Bodies.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?