Short jokes

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!

If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.

"Have you taken a bath?"

"No. Why, did one go missing?"

Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.

What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?

Speed humps.

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.

I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.

The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?

Sneakers.

What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?

They both smell like "Teen Spirit."

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."