I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie. I responded "yes" and he said: "okay, 14159"
What is tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look I’m about to change
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
Why is the B so cool because it’s in between AC
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they don't even got a home
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
What do Evil Kinevil and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
Why can't Homosexuals get car insurance?
they've been rear ended too many times.
What do you call a skunk 🦨 falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
what's blue and doesn't weigh much???
Light blue.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
what do you call a cup with a handle?
a mug! HAHA ha... my parents just got a divorce :(
What do you call a broken pencil never mind it’s pointless!!
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
I slept like a log last night.......woke up in the fireplace
I found Nemo
He was tasty
