Short jokes
People with wheelchairs listen to "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
Hey paps, BONE-appetit!
(Just eat your spaguetti.)
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
Yo chin is so bumpy, someone said, "Is that Mt. Everest?"
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?
Like if you know what ashes are.
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
Spring is here, I got so excited, I wet my plants!