Short jokes

Blue Takis?

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

Congrats to George Floyd on 2 years sobriety.

School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!

What do you call a spice with a PHD?

Dr. Pepper

A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.

Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.

What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?

Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)

Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"

What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...

Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?

A. Lemon-aid.

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.