Short jokes

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

Blue Takis?

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...

You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?

Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."

Why did you go depressed?

Because you’re you.

How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!

You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.

Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.

Article 4: the Titanic sank.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...