Short jokes
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
Feminists are a joke.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.