Short jokes
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
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What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.