Short jokes
Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
What did A say to Y?
"You cannot be alpha like me." :)
Y said, "Why? (Y)"
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the douchebag's house.
Knock knock.
(It's the octopus.)
Hmmm.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common? They will both die eventually.
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
Kid 1: "It's a bird!"
Kid 2: "It's a plane!"
Me: "It's a terrorist!"
I eat cockroaches.
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
Sorry to hear you feel like poo!
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
I'm weird.
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.