Short jokes
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.