What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
Short Jokes
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
Why did the orphan sleep outside? ... Because he gets to wake up to Mother Nature.
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
I like Cheetos.
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.
