Short jokes

Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!

Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.

What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."

What do you call a funny cow?

A cowmedian.

I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.

A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."

What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?

A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).

What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?

Awwtistic.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.

Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.

Woah, nice cock.

How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?

By dropping two of the biggest roasts.

How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.

Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?

Because he can't handle 6 perks.

I saw a robbery at the Apple store.

Am I an iWitness?