Short jokes
How to get quick cash:
Step 1: Kill a child's parents.
Step 2: Do foster care for them.
Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
How are mountains able to see?
They peak!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
Dear Slim Shady,
balls.
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
Yo forehead so big, NASA thought it was Mars.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.