Short jokes
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
Titanic is more bent than a hairline.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
*guitar solo*
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
Akeld: Do you think I should get an edges or a tapeline?
Me: Why not make both of them there? They're both messed up anyway.
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
Addison in bra.
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???