Short jokes

You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.

He couldn't stand a chance.

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...

My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.

You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.

I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

"Have you taken a bath?"

"No. Why, did one go missing?"

Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.

How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!

What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?

O I C U R M T

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.

Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"

Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"

Why did you go depressed?

Because you’re you.

Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.

Article 4: the Titanic sank.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...