Short jokes
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Smash or pass?
"Smash," said the iceberg.
TItanic:...
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.