Short jokes
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Someone asked me my gender... I said, "Woah, man."
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.