Short jokes
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.