Short jokes
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
Why wasn’t the rabbit jumping?
Because he was dead.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
Your mama so fat she sunk the HMS ship!
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
What is the difference between you and Iron Man? You have a wonky hairline.
Vagina?
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What do cows like to do?
Cow-culating!
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)