Short jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some water. Jill pulled up her dress and said, "Daddy, fuck me harder."
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!