You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
Short Jokes
Happiness.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"
