Short jokes
what's flat and great for cutting? me.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?
An Indian person is burnt after death.
All orphans must be gay because they are not home o'fobic.
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
Ok, there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now. Whoever that is, wanna chat? (I'm just bored)
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p