Short jokes
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.