Short jokes
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
What kind of bee can't fly?
A KOBE.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Smash or pass?
"Smash," said the iceberg.
TItanic:...
So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.