Short jokes
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
what was Juice WRLD before he was famous?
Answer: alive.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
I unfriended Paul Walker on Xbox because he was always on the dashboard.
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂