Short jokes
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
Like if your best friend has a dog.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
What was Hitler's lucky number?
Nein.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
Your forehead is so big, your face is on your chin.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
Women.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.