Short jokes

What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.

There is a thin line between death and life!

You won't live to see it.....

The Cardiogram will!!

I don't have luck with other angels.

So I just WING IT!

Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.

Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."

Billy: *spits out food*

Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.

Dad: *looks at mom*

Mom: Shut up.

If you get it, you get it.

Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"

Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"

My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.

What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.

If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?

Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.

This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."

My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"

The thing I don't like about shopping centers...

When you see one, you've seen a mall.

Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.

Why can't a blonde call 911?

She can't find the 11.