Short jokes
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
"DÊjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Get up, you lazybones!
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
What was Hitler's lucky number?
Nein.
Like if your best friend has a dog.
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.