Short jokes
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
You know what to do with this?
Get it to the same amount of dislikes and likes!
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
Why did the doctor check out Earth?
He had a tummy quake.
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
I love balls, bro. So do you.
What time eeeeeee?
Ayo Lucas, a sussy baka!
What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?
A killstreak.