Short jokes
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.