Short jokes
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
What's Kobe's favorite song? "It's Going Down" for real.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Violence against women is funny :)
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
So, Duracell batteries do run out.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.