Short jokes
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?
Russian malls.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.