Short jokes
Why do Chinese people need glasses to see better?
All they need to do is open their eyes.
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
Allah akbar.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Your d*** size...
No one is smart. I am smart.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
Why does America have more guns than people?
Best political joke... Joe Biden.
Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?
Because he can't sign the parent's signature.
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.