Short jokes
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
Humanity.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
What's Kobe's favorite song? "It's Going Down" for real.
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.