Short jokes
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Violence against women is funny :)
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.