Short jokes
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?
Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.
Big feet equals mini meat.
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You're my closet confidant!"
Make America Great Britain again!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!
He's a hot babe and he's single.
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
"Paper is 2D!" said Pen.
"No, it's 3D!" said Pencil.
After Pencil proved it to Pen, Pen said, "Oh, I suppose you're write."
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
12 people on Let's Gooooo.
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.