Short jokes
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.