Short jokes
*Shrek* Bend ogre.
Everyone dislike this.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Heh heh, get it? 69! Ha ahahaha!
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"
"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?
There's twenty of them.
What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
Your mom gay, Evan.
Mom hot.
What do you call cringe?
You.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
If nine is a number, then why on Earth is not "ja" a number?
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."