You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
Short Jokes
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
