English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.
Short Jokes
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words...
"Lazy."
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
If I die, delete my search history.
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
what is the fastest country? iran.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Why do orphans get offended by dark humor?
It doesn’t hit home.
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."
