What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
Short Jokes
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
