Short jokes
Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
Me: I wouldnβt want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: Youβre so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
James Dalton.
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, itβs been two years, and he still hasnβt gotten into the van.
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.
"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."
What's your fav color?
"Emo kid hanging."
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
You mehheheeheheeeehehehe.
Toilet: hi You: hi what?
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Your hairline is so big, it counts as its own planet.
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.