Short jokes
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.
I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
What's a gay guy should be scared of?
A straight gay!
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
What has no legs and a human body?
A human with no legs.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
What operating system do Indian scammers use?
"Window licker XP."
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...
I don’t love being bored.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Every moon has a silver lining.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.