Short jokes
I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
Why did 1 eat 2?
'Cause he was hungry.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
Her last name starts with "A" and ends with "D," and the middle letters are "P-O-O."
I'm a turd.
Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!
Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.
Like if you like porn.
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
What's the difference between pepper and salt? One of them is black and the other one is white.
Frenid: R u gay?
Me: Yes u
Frenid: No I am bi.
Me: Dang it!
Frenid: What?
Me: I like u.
Frenid: Ok I like u to.
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?
His family was blown up by meteors.
I'm an orphan, please stop it. It's not nice and it made me cry.
The "W" in Africa stands for water.