Short jokes
Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?
They couldn't beet the Nazis.
The only hood I like is pointy and white.
That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!
If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
5+2 = 7
But 4+3 also = 7
So take your own path.
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
Which mineral is so impolite?
IRONic.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
Isaac
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
I knead bread.
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?
Palpatine: Stew it.
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.