My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”
Short Jokes
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster," am I, or is he?
Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.
Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.
What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.
What's long, hard, and bloody?
The Boston Marathon.
Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.
Beans, your mum is fat!
12 people on Let's Gooooo.
England: No towers?
America: No queen?
England: Remember 1812?
America: No tea?
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
In Ohio, people walk with their hands.
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
"Brian, can I see that paper for a sec?"
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
I bet Kobe failed flying school.
Do you know Ligma... potatoes?
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.