Short jokes

Short jokes

Paranoia

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"

Wheelchair

I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."

Life

Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.

Year

Everyone thought I'd have a great year...

14 years just gave me more chances.

Pressure

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.

Candy

I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.

Bullying

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.

Nerd

The bully: You're gay.

The nerd: I am.

The bully: Yeah.

The nerd: Then what are you?

Mom

Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!

Smoking

One day a son and his grandad were smoking.

Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)

Ass

This person ( :I ) It wasn't meant to be a joke; it was just to make space like your mother's ass in space because it's so big.

Hairline

Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.

Orphan

Teacher: Anyone missing?

Orphan: My parents.

Teacher: Something that is real, kid.

Orphan: My family.

Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!