Short jokes
Is your name ooOOo? Because my name is lalala.
oOO laLA!
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"
Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
Just.
Old.
Killer.
Epigrams.
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.
Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!
Teacher: NANI!?!?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fishes.
Fishes who?
Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
Just look up texting jokes. Don't ask why, just do it.
What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?
Walkers.
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
rat gaagah?
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.