Short jokes
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?
A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.