Short jokes
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!