Short jokes
My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
A guy finds a genie.
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"
School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
Russia.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.