Short jokes
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
"Penis equals power, pussy equals wussy."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
Where is the pocket?
It is there, the pocket.
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.