Short jokes
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
Submit joke here.
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!
Please stop using this thread. It is cancer.
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
BOB: Wanna know a joke?
LILLY: What? Your hat?
BOB: No, my life :'(
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."
My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.