Short jokes

Short jokes

Liberal

Why did the liberal cross the road?

(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)

Mitosis

What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!

Time

I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"

Food

Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.

Diarrhea

How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.

Gravestone

I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.

Son: Where's grandma?

Man

My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.

Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.

Cannibal

Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.