Short jokes
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
What is a milk?
Milk!!!!
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
Get confused with Confucius!
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
What game is for kids? Uno.
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?
You can't even deal with it!
It’s so sad how Stephen Hawking was just rolling too far away from the outlet. RIP :(
How do trees find each other? They log-ate!
Drawned.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.